Why abstinence is directly related to sexual abuse.

I had a conversation with my mother about abstinence, recently. We were a home that didn’t believe nor ever practice abstinence. ”how do you know if the shoe fits?” My mother’s friend made the comment and laughed about it when we spoke previously when at 28 years old I decided to save myself for the man I would marry.

They come from a generation where sexual exploration was embraced and promoted. Fine. But let the truth be known: pain, chaos and tragedy were a result of such lifestyle choices. Raped as a 13 year old by a senior in high school, and other events that happened younger and even later on in my life, my view of sexual relationships were completely skewed, distorted, and confused.

By 17 I believed the lie that I was only good for sex. That men only wanted that from me, and I better get use to it and make it work to my advantage, or feel like a victim...

That left me somewhere in the middle, wishing I looked differently, be dead, and at time just continuously wishing I was invisible and disappear.

the pressure of either being a sex symbol to feel empowered, and in control, quickly ran its course when I’m just not that type of girl.... and being a loner, brought depression, anger, and a hard heart that got me to take it out on the closest ones I loved the most- my family.

“rape has nothing to do with abstinence!” My mother replied to what I was saying.

”of course it does! If we do not teach our young men, to respect themselves, and have self-control, and that their validity in being Men doesn’t come from sexual exploitation and relations, than the respect they have towards women and their bodies changes drastically. But when you bombard young men to see, hear, and essentially repeat the sex messages promoted by this world; i mean look at the songs they listen too, women being b*tches and women saying yes I’ll be your stripper when they sing back, how can they NOT think that’s a truth to believe in? Rape and the teaching of abstinence goes hand in hand.”

I stand by that. It might sound far fetched, but if we teach a child he cannot have what we wants, like candy or a gift every time you go to the supermarket, to teach them that receiving such a gift is special and done because of kindness and love rather than impulse, why are we. It teaching our children the same truth about our bodies. Our bodies are sacred and should be treated with respect and kindnes. And treating others the same way. This coincides with the first and second commandments Jesus gives us to follow:

“Jesus said to him, “‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like it: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ On these two commandments hang all the Law and the Prophets.””

‭‭Matthew‬ ‭22:37-40‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

Its time to go back to our foundation and fix the cracks we’ve allowed to take place where compromise has taken its place and left the devil seep through whenever he pleases. No more.